Thursday, October 11, 2007

Queue Wars

There are two adults who live in this house and have access to the Netflix queue. I am one of those adults. The other adult, who shall remain nameless, has lost their ever-loving mind. To wit: a short list of recent Netflix selections:
  1. Highlander
  2. Zardoz
  3. Outland
Really. Clearly, the adult in question is exploring the Embarrassing Seventies and Eighties Sci-Fi Starring Sean Connery Genre. All of it. It's an appalling mix of dystopian future, tiny red future pants, and medieval sword fights.

This is almost as bad as the Sixties Italian Vampires and Clowns Soft Porn Disaster of '05.

I believe it's time to change the password (again) and queue up some retaliation.

3 comments:

Mrs. G. said...

My husband and I had to get separate accounts in order to avoid divorce...one can only watch Blade Runner so many times.

Byron Villa-Lobos said...

To defend my honor:

1. Highlander was a favorite point of discussion whilst scanning late video returns at Blockbuster Video, 1996. Several employees (who were not, otherwise, infected with the medeival warrior geek gene) would argue who had the baddest ass, Connor MacLeod, Juan Sanchez Villa-Lobos Ramirez (a name I used to know without consulting the Internet), or The Kurgan.

These were things that mattered in 1996.

I wanted to know where my wife stood on this ass-identification issue...so, naturally I rented the film with thoughts of spousal movie bonding slashing through my head.

This was not to be.

I couldn’t finish the movie (the kids are not sensitive to items of import from 1996), I couldn’t get past how awful the opening fight scene was, I turned off the movie after 30 minutes. Thereafter, I was publicly ridiculed on my wife's blog, a very 21st century thing to do, Melanie. The Immortals would make you one of their own.

2. Zardoz. I finished this movie, and you watched some of it, Melanie. You are tainted with its badness/radness. It doesn’t matter that you rolled your eyes at Connery's wrapped package, scoffed at every-lovin' line of brilliant dialog, or p'shawed the Wizard of Oz subtext (ok, supratext). You are an accomplice. You can now participate in those Zardoz-related discussions at my champagne parties instead of asking if anyone has seen the new HD release of Rosanne, Season Nine. I have done y’all a favor.

3. Outland. I do b’lieve Mr. Connery is dressed in this film. We haven’t watched it yet, remember? How can you go on a public blog like this one, and make slight innuendo as to this movie’s failings? Prediction: you will love this film more than Ghost.

Please remember that I, too, have a blog in cyberspace. I choose to post uplifting light-n-fluffies on it. To quote a respected voice-of-our-times: “I ain’t gonna dis you on the Internet”.

Melanie said...

I don't like Roseanne. That is all.