Saturday, December 1, 2007

If "Project Runway" Was Filmed in My Living Room

Heidi Klum: So, Melanie, tell us about your gah-ment.

Melanie: My garment? It's really an outfit, I think, but just barely.

Heidi: Right.

Melanie: Well, um, it's a shirt. I chose the shirt because it was...clean. And the shirt says "C is for Car" which is true and....also....educational? And he had some pants, but they're back on the changing table. I, um, accessorized with that No. 2 pencil, but I should probably take it away now, actually...

Michael Kors: I don't know. I guess I like the red knee socks in a kicky, school-girl, Gidget-y, Betsey Johnson kind of way. It's young, it's fresh, it's irreverent.

Melanie: Um, those aren't knee socks. They belong to my model's sister, a three-year-old girl. I put them on accidentally.

Michael Kors: Oh.

Nina Garcia: Can we see the back again?

Nina Garcia: (Grimaces.) What's going on here? The fit on the bottom is terrr-eee-bulll! It looks like a diaper.

Melanie: It is a diaper. But I was low on diapers, and needed to go to the store, so that's a random, size-5 Huggy I found in the closet.

Nina: Sigh. I just question your taste level.

Melanie: Yeah, you and me both, Nina.

Guest Judge Sarah Jessica Parker: I think she tried really hard, guys. I think she's got a unique viewpoint, and I like that the outfit showcases the model's thighs. Can we have the model pinch his thighs?

Sarah Jessica: See? That 's really cute, guys.

Melanie: Thank you, SJP. I really regret ever saying you were "horsey." Love you, babe!

Heidi: Melanie, I'm sorry, but you're out.

Melanie: Well, sure. Thanks for the opportunity. I regret nothing.

Tim Gunn: (offstage) Melanie, Melanie, Melanie...I'm sorry, but it's time to say good-bye. You need to go upstairs and pack up your worktable, I'm afraid. Also, I just want you know: if I liked girls, even just a little bit, I would take you as my bride.

Melanie: I know, Tim. I know.

Tim: Carry on, then.


sweetisu said...

This post-in-pictures is SOOOOOO funny and cute! I love the pinching thighs :D

Still giggling!

Mrs. G. said...

Nina is such a twit...she doesn't know a good set of chunky thighs when she sees them. I happen to really like chunky thighs. Those aren't socks. Those are thigh highs.

transplantingme said...

you have to go home and you didn't even spit mark that diaper. it's so unfair.

JennyP said...

The socks...they kill me...and I still have the last episode tivoed for later........

kitty said...

This is brilliant.
I lurve Project Runway.
You have the "players" pegged.
I too would marry Tim if he were straight.

BipolarLawyerCook said...

*bonk* I just tried to pinch his thighs through my computer.

Jozet at Halushki said...

omg...I want to nibble those thighs!

And the socks...uhm...I had no socks for the baby last night, and so I put a pair of my socks on him to wear to sleep. So, I'm not judging this outfit by a long shot.

Tootsie Farklepants said...

SJP: You know, when I saw the sketches the whole ensemble appeared very fashion forward. And there were pants, which are now absent.

Nina: What person can wear this in the real world?

Melanie: This person.


Lisa Milton said...

Ok, I don't even watch the show & found this so charming.

I turned on my computer to pure bloggy bliss.


standing still said...

I don't want to marry Tim, I just want him to come over and get rid of my diaper looking clothes.

Melanie said...

sweetisu: Thanks! I'm a big fan of his thighs.

Mrs. G: Nina is crabby. (Did you know she's pregnant?? So maternal, that one.) And I think you're right about the thigh-highs. It's so hard to know where his knees end and his thighs start.

transplantingme: Spit mark! Bonus points for you!

jennyp: You commented! I wrote this just for, you know.

kitty: Maybe we could live in a gay "Big Love" type situation.

blc: I'll go pinch for you.

jozet: Don't get me started on the sock thing. Curse you, baby socks.

tooties: Well played! You should have written this, CLEARLY.

Lisa: Thanks! Welcome back.

standing: You and me both. Tim would be so disappointed when he discovered the maternity-band cargo pants I'm still wearing.

Be Inspired Always said...

Great post! What a cutie you have.

I'm new to your blog, please feel welcomed to drop by mine.


Crafty Mom said...

*snort* That was the funniest thing I've read in a long time! The pics were adorable!

Anonymous said...

HA! So funny! The pictures are so cute.

Stacy (mama-om) said...

Just thought I'd let you that I'm revisiting this and still find it hilarious!

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