Tuesday, January 22, 2008

For All You Rockstar Olympian Ballerinas

In Friday's post, I related my girlhood skill-granting-genie fantasies, and you replied in droves (OK, two dozens) sharing the magical, instant talents for which you pine.

The results, my friends, are illuminating and entertaining:

Just like me, over half of you wished for the ability to sing, sing out, and sing well. (Though no one else referenced a Wilson, nor a Philips. Good on you.) This just confirms my suspicions that everyone sings in the shower and concocts elaborate rockstar-diva fantasies and tortures their loved ones with showtunes.

The other biggie was Olympic-level abilities in just about any field: ice-skating, skiing, running, hair styling. Like many of you mentioned, I think this speaks to a universal childhood fear of being picked last for teams. Plus, I just know that every last one of you, even those with no athletic ability whatsoever, has imagined being on that Olympic gold medal podium, tearing prettily, hand over heart, listening to your national anthem. I know I have. And do you know what my national anthem is? "St. Elmo's Fire", baby.

And, this is so sweet, but third place was ballerina/dancer. Which is so charming and sort of girlish that I'm not even going to poke fun. (Although, I must point out that Ms. Farklepants lamented not being a ballerina because she was "too tall" and her boobs were "too big." I'm pretty sure lots of people would gladly ask the genie for her particular "skill set.")

Some other votes, in no particular order:

Super-Hero Powers
Being Well-Organized
Marrying River Phoenix (Rima! Not a skill!)
Writing the Great American Novel
Playing the Violin
Playing the Piano
Culinary Skills
Being Delightfully Gaunt
Being a Jedi Master (Aaaand, Veronica takes the gold in Olympic Nerding. Love it.)

Just for the sake of balanced sampling, I asked Roomba which talent or skill he would choose. And, though he said nothing and just sipped his tea knowingly, I'm pretty sure he was thinking, "Pirating. Definitely pirating."

Even little red robots have pretty big dreams. Yar.


bubandpie said...

The abilities you chose in your post are the same ones I would've chosen (with piano and gymnastics close runners-up to violin and figure skating). I think that longing has to do with the astonishing gap between imagination and reality. It's so EASY to imagine myself gliding across the ice, executing double Axels and spiral sequences. I've never quite gotten over the shock at how disparate the fantasy and reality really are.

Melanie said...

BubandPie: EXACTLY. Those wee, 89 pound girls make it look so effortless, vaulting up from the ice, landing on one, thin skate blade.

Lisa Milton said...

I didn't know we could nerd-out. Is it too late to be the slayer? Because, really, dusting the vamps in stiletto heels just feels right.

{And the roomba. You slay me. How do you chase after wee ones, and be so damn funny all the time.}

Kelly @ Love Well said...

I sense the Roomba is channeling its inner Jack Sparrow. He/she wants some eyeliner.

I missed the original post (mastitis will do that to a person) but if it's not too late, could I just be granted my childhood wish of living in Narnia? Or if finding one's way into a magical wardrobe isn't considered a skill, could I have the martial arts talents and general kick-buttness of Trinity?

ewe are here said...

Ooooh. Wish I'd weighed in on that post; too late to the party.

And I'm sure Roomba would love to be a pirate.

Anonymous said...

Roomba would make a great pirate. You wait and see, lassie!

Rima said...

I'm glad to see I'm in good company (at least with the singing and Olympic dreams). I was never good at following directions, though. It's a skill I'm still working on.

P.S. I think piracy suits Roomba. The red/black/white color scheme is very cute on him.

MamaGeek said...

Does your Roomba know you posted that shot of him on the INTERNET? :)

Cheri said...

The Roomba was queried! How funny are you? Great post.

Magpie said...


Amazing that so many people want to be ballerinas in their next lives. It's a hard hard way to make a living, and your career is usually over by the time you're 30.

Amy the Mom said...

What's up with three posts in one day? Sheesh. Way to be prolific.