Sunday, January 20, 2008

To My Boy Baby

Last night, or perhaps today, in the lean hours of the morning, you called out. You cried like your heart was broken and I went to you, lifted you from the crib, cradled you like a tiny babe. Every time I laid you down, you began crying anew, so I relented and held you, heavy across my body, as I rocked and murmured and considered the street lights outside your bedroom window. It began to snow, one of those heavy, secret snows that tumble in while everyone sleeps, and the room glowed softly, perfectly. I looked down at you, with your fans of dark lashes and mess of duckling hair, and I could not imagine, could not fathom, a world in which you are a grown man. We will always be just like this, surely. This boy baby and his mother.

And, in this perfect world, I imagined for us something like this story, but far, far less socially awkward and without all the improbable ladder-climbing.

20 comments:

hippyhappyhay said...

Oh, heart-achy. How truly sweet. I'm rather surprised you didn't eat him ;)

drnurse said...

Very sweet...I loved reading that book/story to me kids...when I could get through it without huge, gasping, sucking, sobs.

ewe are here said...

I love watching my wee boys grow up, and yet I dread the day my babies are no longer babies and willing to cuddle me silly.

Rima said...

Just lovely. I could see that image of you and your little one so clearly.

Beck said...

My boy baby is six today and it's happy and sad all at the same time, because they do grow away from you as fast as they grow up...

JMC said...

"far, far less socially awkward and without all the improbable ladder-climbing" -- Hahahahaha!!!

My Crazy Beautiful Life said...

Your post brought back lovely memories of rocking Zach when he was small. He loved to cuddle and wasn't a great sleeper so we spent many hours this way. It is hard to believe that he will be 16 this summer. . .

Amy the Mom said...

I was simultaneously creeped out and heart warmed by that book when my children were babies. Although there was much sobbing when in kindergarten, my oldest son's class sang the little song as the teacher read from the book.

Family Adventure said...

I keep reminding my 7 year old that he is mine forever and ever. Any chance it'll stick when he's 15? Nah...I didn't think so. *sigh*

Heidi

Mrs. Who said...

I kept my two year old grandson last night and it was just as you describe. It's hard to imagine a time when he is a teenager. It happens so quickly...

Tootsie Farklepants said...

Awww...I keep telling my kids to stop growing and let's just keep things the way they are. But they don't listen.

Sweet Pepita said...

What are we gonna do when we can't hold our babies to our hearts? What's going to happen then??? *whimper*

kimmomofeight said...

First time leaving a comment, I've been an impressed lurker for a bit though :o)

Beautiful photo, beautiful sentiment. My oldest man-child turned 18 last summer and it saddened me and made me proud all in the same heartbeat. I type this with my 5 week old boy-child curled up on my chest and know it will fly by in the blink of an eye yet again.

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

That book is exactly what I thought of as I was reading your post. This was wonderful. My love you-forever-boys are much taller than me, but sometimes I can still sneak in a snuggle. Shhh! Don't tell their friends.

Mrs. G. said...

This is the most beautiful of posts.

I'm going to be honest and say this book CREEPED me out. I read it once and then donated it to the library. I'm not sure what this says about me, but I'm sure it says something.

minnesotamom said...

I rather liked that book. And as for their lives flying by...thank God for grandkids?

My first is only 4 months old, but I already can't believe she is starting to roll and sit by herself. Sigh...too fast, too fast.

Nora Bee said...

Oh, lovely. You captured it. My bubba is never going to grow up either. Nope.

coolbeans said...

This is sweet, Melanie.

My oldest boy baby is nearly as tall as I and his feet are big enough now, I can borrow his socks. I think it's cool. He thinks it's the grossest thing ever.

Lisa Milton said...

I hear you. My bubby and I were just talking about the future, when he will grow taller than me, and 'have a mustache'.

{Please God, no.}

It's hard for me to imagine. Maybe I won't, today.

merlotmom said...

Came to your blog from ... someone. Can't remember, maybe Rose or Slouching Mom, who knows... Anyway, loved this post. That book made me sad and weirded me out as well. My son is 7 (and 1/2) and I only get fleeting moments with him that resemble those you speak of. Otherwise, he's trying out the new curse words he's learned in school. Enjoy the darling moments. As they grow, the changes are also wonderful, but different, very different.