Sunday, February 10, 2008

Day 10: Baby's First $14 Haircut

My sweet, friendly, unassuming baby received his first haircut, and it went a little something like this:

And, despite appearances, the haircut did not involve hot wax or steel wool or bees or clowns or being skinned alive. It involved a gentle misting, approximately seven snips, and a brief buzz about the neck. The entire haircutting process lasted approximately five minutes and set me back $14, which is really ridiculous when you consider the fact that I can traumatize my baby anytime, from the comfort of my home, for free.

I only agreed to the cut because his father had begun to call him "Dauber" as in this Dauber from the (inexplicably) well-loved series "Coach." And Jimmy's hair is blond and wispy and really straight in the front, and it was getting long and hanging in his eyes and, well....

...I became uneasy. So, in an effort to nip the Daublet in the bud, I took my poor baby to a FUN! children's salon, where everything was FUN! and LOOK, MONKEYS! and SUPER EXPENSIVE! and, at first, things were fine. When initially seated in his little Jeep-chair, Jimmy looked like this:

but quickly devolved to this:

As you can see, he was removed from the Jeep-chair (perhaps dismayed by his Jeep-chair's poor fuel economy?) and clung to his grandmother, horrified by the cute, 22 year-old girl who insisted on gently misting his head. Oh, the cruel misting!

Lastly, there was the ceremonial clipping of the baby curls at the nape....wait...did you hear that? I believe it was the collective, pearl-clutching gasp of two hundred female blog readers. Not the baby curls! I'm sorry. I know. I know. We'll just pretend this whole, sordid affair never happened, OK?

On a lighter, more hilarious note, Ellie (who, oblivious to her brother's anguish, was busy ogling stuffed monkeys and checking out the themed bathrooms) kept referring to the stylist as "the doctor." For visual reference, here's a quick shot of "the doctor":

While I'm not exactly sure how Ellie got the impression that the cute, 22-year-old, pink-sequined-tunic-wearing stylist was a licensed medical professional, I imagine it must have been either A) the wielding of potentially dangerous implements near fearful, crying children or B) the glasses. Hard to say which.

(Part of the 30 Tiny Moments project.)

27 comments:

hippyhappyhay said...

Hopefully it's the glasses, I quite fancy being able to call myself "Dr".

Awww, too cute and too sad, they grow SO fast!

bluemountainsmary said...

Oh boy you brought back some memories here. Will looked pretty much like your little one when he had his haircut for the first time (the emotions I mean). Fortunately the next two were bald until they were two and could then be bribed with eleven thousand jelly beans.

Veronica Mitchell said...

Yeah. I traumatize my kids at home too. I cut their hair myself. I'm not good, but I'm free.

Amy the Mom said...

I had the same experience with my oldest, only he had more hair and the crying created much phlegm. Afterwards, he looked like he had been tarred and feathered.

Rima said...

That salon looks a lot like the place where the little J-dog was traumatized a few weeks ago. I also like to pay top dollar for a snip-n-scream fest.

But Jimmy is way cuter than the dude from Coach!

Sweet Pepita said...

Well OK, that settles it. Pepita's hair will forever be wild. They snipped Jimmy's CURL? Noooooooooooo!
I would have cried.

We were seriously considering taking our baby to get her bangs cut but now I'm afraid. You are strong and brave. And strong.

standing still said...

Or, Ellie was responding to her brothers screams. The ones the doctor has gotten from her.

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

It looks, in the last shot, like their is a brief moment of non-terror, and maybe even the hint of a smile at Grandma.

Look at it this way--it was an expensive haircut, but you got a great post out of it, so it was sort of a two-for-one.

bipolarlawyercook said...

(Mumbles under her breath, I liked the Dauber...)

Someone Being Me said...

Awww..I did that last week for Bear. He was definitely sporting the blonde mullet and it wasn't doing it for me. I could have cut it myself but then I wouldn't have the adorable pictures and the little certificate with a lock of his hair attached. That was worth the $12.00 right there.

Kelly @ Love Well said...

I know it had to be done.

But the baby curls. Oh the baby curls.

Why is it that the first haircut feels like it's the Official End to Babyhood?

Nora Bee said...

Hey, doctors come in all shapes and sizes these days. I have other witty comments, but am clutching my pearls at the loss of the baby curls. I'm coming to YOU for moral support soon, lady. My bubba is approaching the "time" for the first haircut and I'm generally closing my eyes and going "la la la la."

dkuroiwa said...

(not mumbling, but actually saying aloud...)
I thought Dauber was so cute...I liked him!!!
You did save those lovely curls didn't you? My oldest son thought I was crazy when he found his curls in his baby book...and then I showed him the curls of his 96 year-old grandfather, from his first haircut!! (somehow I got them!!!) Great memories!!! And they forget the trauma so quickly, usually!!

Lisa Milton said...

I'm blaming Dr. Barbie.

(It gets easier, the haircuts. Zack begs to go...)

Married to Bad Mom said...

When he is a teen, he will be mortified he tossed a fit about poor jeep fuel economy in front of a cute hair stylist.

-Stu

Tootsie Farklepants said...

Awww...the first haircut. I think equally traumatizing for the toddler and the mother. I did gasp about the baby curls.

Mrs. G. said...

Poor Jimmy. I think he would have cried less (and more efficiently)in a Prius chair. I choose to believe that he was weeping for the current state of the planet.

And don't underestimate the power of a good stylist. She is a doctor. A doctor of hair.

He looks more distinguished.

Beth said...

I love the Dauber reference! Your husband was right on the money only the Daublet is waaaaay cuter!

bensrib said...

Loved it. It reminds me of my 23 year old's first haircut many years ago. It was equally traumatic, only the barber was an elderly gentleman who was made quite nervous by all the screaming. So nervous he was shaking uncontrollably. Made for an interesting haircut.

edj said...

Maybe he will have curls. Everyone freaked out when I cut my eldest's curls, and now he's 12 and has a white-fro. You just never know, do you?

katydidnot said...

oh dear god, that poor child. i'm surprised no one called cps.

stephanie said...

My doctor wear a pink-sequined tunic sometimes; what?

Fantastic documentary - you are always a welcomed riotous laugh :)

Family Adventure said...

ack! I can't see the last few pictures. But the baby curls???

*sob*

Heidi

the end of motherhood said...

To avoid all that trauma, I gave my Oldest his first haircut and nicked the back of his neck with the scissors. Never again!

Laura said...

What "end of motherhood" said. My husband, in an effort to avoid the expensive haircut, invested in a haicut "kit" with clippers that were louder than the vacuum cleaner and the dishwasher running at the same time. My sweet baby was terrified, but he was a brave little soldier and emerged shorn -- kind of evenly, if you tilted your head when you looked at him, and ignored the big gap in back. A few years later, when Dad grazed his ear, he decided he had had his last haircut. Ever. He's 14 now, with hair on its way past his shoulders.

Your boy looks so cute, and though the curls are gone, all the better for nuzzling some sweet baby neck.

Ophelia Rising said...

What an experience for all of you! And I sort of like the Dauber look, a little bit.

The curls, the curls! No matter. They'll grow back. :)

Minnesota Matron said...

Oh, sweet sadness! Those first hair cuts. I sort of think the reaction reasonable. If I was sixteen months old and somebody starts heading toward my head with a scissors.. .. .I'd worry!