Monday, March 17, 2008

Day 21: In Which I Blind You With Science, Pink Mylar

Day 21- Mylar Math
Scientists in Boise, Idaho now believe that TE (Toddler Enthusiasm) for a TMB (Tacky Mylar Balloon) is inversely proportional to ME (Maternal Enthusiasm) for TMB.

Moreover, TE seems to exert an unidentified force on TMB, rendering TMB bizarrely, eternally buoyant, free to scrape around the ceiling and hover in corners, making sinister noises in the middle of the night and inducing NMHA (Near Maternal Heart Attack).

Scientists will conduct further experiments to determine if this preternatural buoyancy is due to high levels of TE alone and not, as some have suggested, due to mysterious "life-force sucking powers" of the TMB which, like a shiny, pink vampire, may actually be drawing energy from all those NMHAs.

Film at 11.

(Picking up where I left off on the 30 Tiny Moments project.)

22 comments:

Lisa Milton said...

I'm so glad our TE has passed. Lexi used to salvage all the broken balloons of her world, and name them.

Yes, she has a stash of frankenballoons.

It's just so wrong.

Loralee Choate said...

OOOH! SHINY! PURDY! ME LIKEY!!!

smalltownmom said...

My ME for them completely disappeared after a Darth Maul mylar balloon got sucked into the air intake of our heater, and jammed the fan.

Tootsie Farklepants said...

Girl-Child had a large Winnie the Pooh mylar in her room that was gradually losing it's mojo and hung around mid-room height. It floated out of her room one night which is directly across from the office (where I sat at the computer) and scared the crap out of me.

hippyhappyhay said...

Lol @ your post.

Loving that pic!

Mike Golch said...

I like this posting it made me think ansd sometimes glad that we did not have this problem at our house.

Mike Golch said...

Hi Melanie,I was just over at the updat on the little lady and see that she is doing well.I'm glad for that,God Bless.Mike & Celestine

Stu said...

Our balloons 'leave' in the middle of the night. Mr. Scissors comes out when the kids are in bed and does his business. Mr. Garbage Can takes over once Mr. Scissors has done the dirty work.

"I don't know where all those balloons from Red Robin went....."

It is so much easier than the crying/begging/hording.

-Stu

lapoflux said...

We're still "murdering" the balloons in the middle of the night when the kids won't hear their screams...

And I am pretty sure that they do suck energy from the NMHA.

Magpie said...

right. that's why i handed the mylar balloons out as party favors...it got them out of my house!

standing still said...

The half outta gas variety make a delightful torture for the everyday, psychotic housecat.

MamaBird said...

Ahhh...we are actually in the midst of TA (toddler ambivalence) about balloons, which manifests itself in cries of delight and then at once mad weeping at the unpredictability of much-beloved balloon movements, and so sometimes our balloons get lost, sadly, despite the dire environmental consequences...

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

Stu is a man after my own sneaky heart.

I AM VERY MARY said...

Wow, I totally WAS blinded with science. Amazing how you predicted that one...

Cheri said...

I'm with you Jenn, Stu is da man!

Sojourner said...

I have to tell you about my last experience with TMB. I had my 50th birthday in August and was awarded an ETMB (Extra tacky) in the shape of a giant black 50. It hung around for weeks afterward as I needed to adjust to the numbers. It made its way from room to room giving me near fatal heart attacks numerous times, the worst of which were triggered by th ETMB getting caught up in ceiling fans and making a sound like a machine gun being fired. REALLY SCAREY!

bipolarlawyercook said...

Yes, but what happens to TE upon application of BMTMBP (Bad Mommy Tacky Mylar Balloon Popping)? NTHA (Near Toddler Histrionic Angst-athon)? If necessary, BMTMBP can be substituted with MMBFTMBP (Mommy's Mean Bloggy Friends TMBP). I hear Boise is lovely this time of year.

J. said...

But I like tacky mylar balloons! They make me happy. : ) And unlike plain old latex or whatever they are made of helium balloons (and so many other things in life), these babies don't just shrivel up and die overnight.

Mrs. G. said...

I usually give these balloons two days to live and then butter knife them when the kids aren't looking.

Minnesota Matron said...

Pretty pretty. Alas, I must join the Murdering Balloons Club. Those balloons are like Incurable Clutter Brain Suck: all encompassing. (reference to a Matronly post, there)

The Boddeker Blog said...

I just read the Isabel update. My 12 year old daughter and I have been sending good thoughts her way and anxiously awaiting updates! I'm so glad she's doing well.

katydidnot said...

finally...i get it.