Wednesday, February 6, 2008

The Solitary Life of a Housebound Little Red Robot

Late at night, while his family sleeps, our Roomba trolls the Web for an Internet bride. He's quite partial to this one, with her supple, blue bumpers and promises of a nice, thorough, wet scrub.

Her name is Scooba. Scooooooba, Roomba seems to sigh.

Her profile indicates that she's tall, round, and actually outweighs him by several pounds, and this information has only fueled Roomba's ardor. You see...

...he likes big 'bots and he cannot lie.

36 comments:

Tootsie Farklepants said...

You get extra points for working that song into your entry!

edj said...

Ouch!

You crack me up.

dkuroiwa said...

Melanie...you just make me laugh!
Great start to an otherwise "blah" kind of day!
And thaaaaaank you oh so much...now that song is going to be in my head all day.
Have lusted for my own little Roomba...am thinking it could tackle the mysterious dustbunny problem we have here in Japan....does it only do hardwood floors or can he do tatami, too?
(I'm getting excited just thinking about it....)

hippyhappyhay said...

Oh.my.gosh. TOO funny Melanie, and yet so sad. Poor Roomba, pining away....

(love the pictures)

Christina. B said...

I want a roomba

Someone Being Me said...

My shop vac is sighing in envy. He's not even allowed to troll the internetz for dates.

Professor J said...

oh, Melanie.

Mrs. G. said...

If Roomba doesn't find love on the internet independently, may I suggest E Harmony...I would love to see his personal profile.

bipolarlawyercook said...

Oh, you just cured an otherwise sucky day. Mwah!

Life As I Know It said...

Yup, just as I feared. I now have that song stuck in my head...

Ophelia Rising said...

Oh, good for Roomba! Wowie Zookers!

And yes, I, too, now have the song imprinted in my memory.

katydidnot said...

oh man, that's the funniest thing i've seen all day. i too love my roomba, even though he doesn't actually suck anything up. vacuuming apparently is not his thing. oh well, we love him anyway.

bluemountainsmary said...

You are very funny!

I wonder if I can get such big ' bot loving creatures here in Australia!

Minnesota Matron said...

Please. This is a song my oldest glommed onto when he was about nine. I still hear it during the annual pap smear, when I'm enduring and the doctor's making small talk: I like big butts and I cannot lie.

Oh my.

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

That is seriously clever. I will be sharing.

Loralee Choate said...

I want a roomba with the power of a thousand burning suns.

Sigh...

ewe are here said...

*snort*

heh heh

Family Adventure said...

"Roomba trolls the Web for an Internet bride"

*Snort*

Heidi

minnesotamom said...

Good grief. You're starting to make me want a Roomba. And I'm not an easy sell...

Geekgrl64 said...

I totally enjoyed the 'bot entry and then to work in the song, OMG, I groaned AND laughed! Thanks!

Mary said...

Hilarious, love the song!

MamaBird said...

*snort* is right. and the song just killed me right off. i am not allowed to spend my good money on a roomba, i am not....

Lisa Milton said...

How'd I miss this yesterday? You are brilliant.

lapoflux said...

Do you hear my snorts of laughter (one of my more charming talents).
You had me giggling, but the last line - you funny girl you.
Thanks for dropping by, by the way!

Nora Bee said...

Wow. Your robot has emotions. Isn't that a national security thing? I hope you don't sell him off to the gubmint. Protect him!! (And find him a mate).

moosh in indy. said...

HA!
Here I was in my head with all the "wet joke" possibilities.
I really need to get out more...

stephanie said...

You are absolutely brilliant.

I would give you an A in my creative writing class for that, and possibly not require you to do any other work all quarter.

teeni said...

Found you through Hay's site. This is a hilarious post. I'm stumbling it.

Mike Golch said...

melanie,great posting!it is hysterical that a mechanical object would want a mechanical mate.but than again don't we all want someone or some thing to keep us company.

transplanting me said...

i can understand his ardor... very funny!! i came here because hay said to.

Anonymous said...

lame

lyn said...

oh my gosh that's funny. found you through Hay's site. too cute!!

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