Thursday, February 14, 2008

Those Wacky Victorians

It's Valentine's Day, isn't it? And do you know who really loved Valentine's Day? The Victorians. And, sure, it seems like their lives were all puppies and pies and pansies, but they had their fair share of problems. I mean, problems beyond having cocaine in their soda and infrequent bathing and child labor and sooty, sooty filth. I'm talking about love problems.

So, in the tradition of December's rejected Christmas card designs and in homage to the delightful imagery of yesteryear, I thought I'd offer up a treasury of alternative Victorian Valentines, just in time for the big day.


Please feel free to print these little beauties on the high-quality cardstock of your choice and....you know....good luck with all that.

Happy Valentine's Day!

(Big, big thanks to the lovely, peerless Very Mary for hooking a sister up with free weekly Dover clip art. The tomfoolery potential is now limitless.)

31 comments:

calicobebop said...

Lovely! I especially like the one that says "Clowns are for Lovers." Because, the first thing that pops in my mind when I think about love is a clown. :) Happy Valentines!

bipolarlawyercook said...

"Get your trans am off the lawn."
Is polygamy legal in Idaho? Because I want to marry you.

Amy the Mom said...

Bipolar Lawyer and I shared a favorite. I'll be laughing about that all day!

Veronica Mitchell said...

LOVE. IT.

stephanie said...

Just not with you...I love it so.

Your tomfoolery is brilliant.

Happy (or not) Valentine's Day!

sassy said...

Happy V.D.

Love the cards.

Ophelia Rising said...

LOVE those! Your tomfoolery is SO clever! :)

The Victorians would have fainted dead away, I think.

Family Adventure said...

I love'em all! "Your wife seems really nice" *snort*

Heidi

Claire B. said...

It's Valentine's Day, and you are commenting on my blog RIGHT NOW! Does that mean were in luv? Do you have a Trans Am? Cuz if you doo it's all over.

This was a beautiful, creative, wacky and hilarious post! You are so freakin' clever! Love it.

Lisa Milton said...

You're a genius. That's all.

Happy valentine's day..

Sweet Pepita said...

he he... restraining order... stalker valentines... nice!

MamaBird said...

Love the idea *and* the VD clown! Happiest of love days to you and your delectable chirren.

hippyhappyhay said...

I LOVE them, Happy Valentines Day Melanies Brain, I love you!

Minnesota Matron said...

HA!! The wife one is fab. I know exactly the wife I'll go after if I switch teams.

Stu said...

But I bought that thar Trans Am for you Baby. I just gotta git the tires mounted and I can take you and the kids to Wall Mart for Valentine's Day dinner.

-Stu

bluemountainsmary said...

Look they were all good - very good

but the best one was the acid reflux.

Melanie said...

Just so we're clear: I wouldn't take ownership of a Trans Am if they were filling them with rainbows and giving them away on the corner.

My husband, though, would probably take five. And immediately put them on the lawn.

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

Now that's the VDay spirit! You should be working for Hallmark.

katydidnot said...

oh, blogging the break up...excellent.

Magpie said...

i love you. those are splendid. perfect. funny.

go into business.

Cheri said...

"Today, Valentine, let's forget the restraining order . . ."

This one made me laugh the most. Maybe 'cause I was formerly a family-law attorney and could totally imagine a former client or two sending it.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Mrs. G. said...

I would date a nutjob just to be able to hand out a Valentine excusing a restraining order...that is love. You are the best.

edj said...

You win for Most Victorian! Really. You captured their sentiments exactly.

This was awesome.

Nora Bee said...

These are hilarious, Melanie. You are a true Victorian :-)

I AM VERY MARY said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
I AM VERY MARY said...

Sigh Melanie, you're so right. Clowns are for lovers.

apologies for the previous BLOG POST REMOVED BY AUTHOR. I had, well, doubled up on the word are. There, I told you.

dkuroiwa said...

I'm pretty much liking them all...can I get them in a box set?
If you have one that says "Porno videos...Those are mine" I'll take one!!!

James and Tricia Thomas said...

You are so funny!!! I am trying to decide on which one to print out for my hubby!!

standing still said...

Could have used a couple of these in my younger days.

Lola...again said...

I can lurk no longer....You make me laugh!!

Beverly said...

Those are great!