Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Next Year I'll Spring For The Shingles Cream

The VCS
In honor of this, the day of my birth several dozen years ago, I am giving away a Super Special BeanPaste Birthday Prize Pack from everyone's favorite nutty Yankees And what, you may ask, does such a Super Special BeanPaste Birthday Prize Pack contain? Putz houses? Shingles cream? Discount geriatric "personal supplies"? Sadly, none of the above. It contains...

soapy
...soap.

sampler box
One lucky(ish) BeanPaste reader will receive one Vermont Country Store Apothecary Soap Sampler containing nine all-natural, Vermont-made, triple-milled soaps. (Soaps so damn popular they are sold old, people!)

smells like old lady
(And I should probably take a moment to mention that The Vermont Country Store is in no way sponsoring or endorsing the S.S.B.B.P.P., nor do they sponsor or endorse any of the glowing editorial content on this blog. IT'S ALL ME, BABY.)

lemony
Ellie and I have personally smelled all these soaps (for quality assurance) and can tell you that this one is our favorite.

smells like 'black'
Though who doesn't love the smell of black glycerine?

rose
And we'll be frank: this one totally smells like old lady.

So, in order to be in the running for the S.S.B.B.P.P., you must leave a comment answering the following question: Everyone is always talking about when they are old they will wear purple and red hats and fried green yayas etc. etc., but what I want to know is this: tell me what you'd like to smell of as an old lady (or old man, or old man that looks like a lady). Rose? Lavender? Laundry soap? Dogs? Pipe tobacco? Bourbon and cigarettes?

Winner will be selected at random, or possibly based on merit. This birthday girl is capricious like that.

83 comments:

lori said...

I know what I don't want to smell like: old-lady.

Hmm... I think I'd like to smell like I just was with a man in his mid-20s, vaguely after-shave-y... so that everyone will wonder what I was just doing... :D Then I'll put on my Red Hat and smile my secretive (and probably alzheimerish) smile.

bluemountainsmary said...

Fried green yayas - love that! And will steal it!

I would like to smell like...

freedom.

Peach said...

I would like to smell like suntan lotion when I'm an old lady. :)

Veronica @Toddled Dredge said...

Peaches and summer breezes.

happygeek said...

Yardly's Lavender.
To me, that is what old people smell like.

princessofsomething said...

I think I want to smell like the inside of a coffee shop. This is guaranteed to make my husband want me till we both die. And he must smell exactly how he smells now-- soap and Old Spice and shaving cream and a bit of who knows what.

Yeah, we're gonna be special when we're old.

Marilyn said...

When I'm an old lady I'd like to smell like Lauren cologne - uh, large red bottle with gold top. That will ensure a nice healthy delusion of still being sixteen, wearing tight jeans and having boobs that aren't doubling as floor-dusters at the nursing home. And I'll be in demand by all the "Polo"-smelling old men.

Marilyn said...

And - almost forgot - have a Happy, Happy Birthday!

ophelia rising said...

Oh, pick me! Pick me! I love those smelly soaps!

Hmmm...I would like to smell like fresh laundry that's been hanging on the line, and perhaps a little cinnamon thrown in for good measure.

Alice said...

I want to smell like baby powder. I want to be one of those old ladies that showers daily and sprinkles baby powder all over herself.

Mindy said...

Happy Birthday! I would like to smell like Guerlain's Apres L'ondee Pure Parfum. But since I can't afford it now, I doubt I'll be able to when I'm old. Maybe I should smell like a wonderful soap assortment. Hint, hint. Thanks for the fun contest.

MamaBird said...

Hmmm. Massage oil. Sea breezes. Campfires. Roasted garlic (yes, roasted garlic - I did *not* say garlic farts). Rosemary and lemon. Apples and cloves. Vanilla, the real stuff, not the fake cloying candle smell scent. Actual scents of all the above, btw. Dogs that I like to rumple. Preferably not after they have rolled in anything foul. Gingerbread. Chai tea. Freesia. Exercise and sweat (since it means I won't be wheelchair bound yet). Like bluemtnsmary said.

Lola said...

Chocolate....and Old Men!

justjuli said...

I stopped by earlier today and just the pictures were up. I'm glad these are just soaps and not the "personal" toys that VCS sells on the cheap!

I think I'd like to smell like lilac flowers and babies. Two of my favorite smells. I hope to be around both of them still when I get old. :)

Csquaredplus3 said...

I would like to smell of clean breezes (or Dove soap), with my hair pleasantly wafting White Rain hairspray, and my breath a bit minty.

How 'bout them apples?!

Rima said...

Pie guts and Oil of Olay.

You are a very generous birthday girl. I hope you have a good one.

kimmomofeight said...

After birthing this many kids I sure as heck better smell like an enormous gaggle of wonderful grandbabies ~ all muddy, chocolatey, ivory soapy, sunshiney, and grassy; and some vanilla and fresh flowers thrown in there too. Not a mothball or Chantilly in smelling distance!

Happy Birthday!!

Nice soap :0)

Minnesota Matron said...

Um. The Matron will never wear the purple and red garish deal. Ugh, ugh. But she will smell like vanilla and cilantro, alternately.

the (new) cheap chick said...

Hippo Birdie Two Ewes, Hippo Birdie Two Ewes, Hippo BIIIIRRRRRDDDIIIEEEEE Dear Beanpaste, Hippo Birdie Two Ewes.

And I would like to smell like fast cars, faster men, and pansies. Also? My third bong of the day, because when I'm 90, I'm taking up pot. Damn the man!

Old Man Bean said...

Ok, my weekly smells as an old man of reasonable dignity:

Monday - old drawer
Tuesday - old car
Wednesday - old records
Thursday - old raisins
Friday - pipe tobacco
Saturday - cold cats
Sunday - old Bible

...and maybe on my birthday: love.

Ashley said...

I would love to smell of fresh lemonade and wisdom.

Happy Birthday!

lapoflux said...

Happy Happy Birthday!! Hope you enjoy your trip.

I hope I smell like lavender or green tea. But green tea probably won't be trendy then ;-)

And I'm all about planning to be trendy (isn't old age about doing all the things you never did before?)

chickadee said...

laundry soap or dirt or even crackers but definitely not like powder or Bengay!

Angie said...

ahhh, this is easy - basil, tomato plants, soil, fresh air....you know, like my garden:)

coolbeans said...

Soap and tea. And lemons. I love lemons because they are happy!

mommyknows said...

Mountain air.

kathy said...

I want to smell like tea with a shot of whiskey because it is always afternoon somewhere.

Happy Birthday to you, mine was yesterday, soap is a nice gift. hint. hint.

Jennifer said...

Happy Birthday!

I think I'll smell like Ivory soap and sunshine. Yep, fresh as a daisy at 90 years old. That's my plan.

Mark Brown said...

Napalm in the morning.

wehave9 said...

Happy Birthday! I will refrain from singing since it is absolutely not one of my talents! What a neat idea for a giveaway! Hope it brings you lots of comment love!

dkuroiwa said...

Happy Birthday, luv! I do hope it was a good one!!

I know that I, too, do NOT want to smell like an old lady...or an old lady TRYING not to smell old by wearing waaaay too much "ding dong...that lady is here with your monthly order" kind of perfume (that was MY grandmother, bless her Avon-loving heart!)
I'm thinking vanilla....since I smell like that most of the time anyway...or better yet, I'll probably still be buying the Victoria Secret stuff...so let's say just 'something young and sexy'!!

Dave S. said...

Victory. (Close but no cigar, mark brown...)

That, or the overstock/remaindered section of the Vermont Country Store.

Kelly said...

I pick freshly shampooed baby head. Num.

Hope you have a good birthday. :)

Kammie said...

Bactine and vodka

iloveupstate.com said...

Dang. When I read about a Vermont Country Store giveaway on this blog...I assumed it would be a "personal massage device". Soap? Well, ok...but not as fun as a "personal massage device".

What will I smell like? I think I'll smell like...

Ivory Soap...with a hint of stale beer.

Kelly @ Love Well said...

If I can smell like lilacs and authenticity when I'm an old lady, I'll be very pleased.

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday!

I'd like to smell like my own clean self-with occasional spritzs of Opium.
klcrab

Magpie said...

4711 (a light citrusy smell, subtle).

Magpie said...

And why ISN'T the VCS sponsoring you?

J. said...

First off, happy belated birthday, Melanie! And remember, many of us are still older than you! : )

So does Black Glycerine Soap smell anything like black licorice, because I love black licorice.

That said, I don't like scented soap, of any variety, but I seem unable to work this week, and reading your blog is way more fun anyway.

So what do I want to smell like or think I will smell like when I get old(er)? Sauteed onions or roasted garlic. I love both, and at some point I am just going to say wtf and start spreading roasted garlic over everything. Runner-up smells: BBQ sauce, vanilla, fresh-baked cookies. But I think eau de garlique is way more sexy, don't you?

The Girl Next Door said...

Rhum. (that's the Pirate way to spell Rum). Yes I want to smell like fine, Jamaican Rhum. and salt water. and sand....get the picture?

Amy said...

When I'm old, I'd like to smell like a veggie garden. Hopefully that will mean that I've learned how to successfully care for a garden at that age because I sure can't do it now!

dharmamama said...

Sweat from dancing, someone else's sweat from loving, dirt from gardening, chocolate from baking, new baby smell from grandbabies, mouthwash from laughing long and hard.

Suzy said...

One of my Grandma's smelled like Estee Lauder and the other one smelled like Oil of Olay.

I guess I'd like to smell like whatever means home to my kids and hopefully many grandkids some day.

Jackie Tx said...

Well Happy Birthday!! Soap I loooovveee soap. Mostly because I get to smell it then make my hubby smell it even if it stinks! Yes I make people smell things. When I am old I hope to smell like Butterscotch or Butterscotch Schnapps. Because I vow to be healthy now. So when I am old I probley will be feeling blah and I wanna get my drink on. Just so you know I havent ever smoked anything I have no tatoos but when I am a granny I'm gonna do it. I already know what tats I want. Havent decided on my choice of ciggs yet. So I am definatly going to need some soap to get the smell of tabacco off me. But perhaps the schnopps will take care of that!

Claire B. said...

I can't believe nobody said "weed." I guess I just did. Maybe it will be legal by then and I can revisit my youth.

Happy Birthday, fellow Leo!

Laura/CenterDownHome said...

Cookies. I will smell like cookies.

That soap looks good enough to eat.

Amy Amy Bo Bamey said...

I want to smell clean, like fresh rain, summer breeze, the beach, cucumbers, fresh linens, just clean.

I don't want to be a dirty old lady. I want to be clean :)

Happy Birthday BTW!!

iCarrie said...

I hope I smell like gin with a hint of lime.
Oh yes, and Burts Bees, Baby Bee lotion.

My husband is always quick to point out what lotion or towels smell like "Grandma" smell. So I like to put that lotion on my face at night so he will steer clear of me while he looks for missing magnets under our appliances.

Happy Birthday!

Sweet Pepita said...

I wanna smell like marshmallow so that my scent matches my density

a Tonggu Momma said...

Vanilla... I'd like to smell like vanilla. I once read that vanilla is a natural aphrodisiac, so mens' thoughts turn to love when they smell it. Since I'm already starting to sag and show other signs of aging at 34, I figure I'm gonna need all the help I can get when I'm 64.

Bocky60 said...

I wanna smell like George Clooney please.

Irene said...

Well, since I smoke, and am planning on smoking when I am an old lady, I will smell like cigarette smoke. I will also smell like Chanel No 5, because that's my favorite perfume, and I will smell like Bailey's Irish Cream, because I do love to imbibe in that. I think that sounds like a perfect combination of aroma's, so you see how any of those pieces of soap would go very well with that.

Jennifer Powell said...

So I'm probably too late for the giveaway...but I would like to smell like Johnson's Lavendar baby bath with a hint of vanilla latte just for fun. Hope you had a great birthday! Been lurking here for awhile - enjoy your writing.

knitalot3 said...

Happy Birthday!!

I would like to smell like a mountain forest after a light rain shower.

Also, like a freshly washed baby - love the smell of baby shampoo.

Donna-Michele said...

What a cool question...

I'll smell like a waterfall, water color paints, the beach, pottery clay, fresh earth, a good old book and cobbler for company, hopefully always with a hint of hubbie-cuddle and grandkid smudge on my neck.

Mostly I want to smell like human-doing...not like old-stale-sitting-around.

And if weed is legal...well...that too sometimes. ;\)

Hope your birth day was lovely.

Sheri said...

I may be too late for the giveaway but I just wanted to say Happy Birthday!

And I'd like to smell like the beach, always.

unexpectedblissblog(at)yahoo(dot)com

standing still said...

No need to enter me in the drawing, but I wanted to mention this. When I am old I want to smell like patchoulli and Harley Davidson exhaust.

Kelly said...

I want to smell like baby powder, play dough and home made chocolate chip cookies because I am surounded by a pack of heathen grandbabies that my only daughter has lovingly let loose on the unsuspecting world.

Lisa Milton said...

Is Bacon wrong? Because it sure makes me happy.

I guess I'll shoot for Rosemary or Pears. Pumpkin pie?

It's good I've got some time to decide.

mia said...

I want to smell like vanilla. And by vanilla I don't mean vanilla-scented candles, bath products or extract (although they can be nice too), I mean the real honest-to-god stuff you find in vanilla beans. I hope to be spending time with family and baking and cooking from scratch--hence the "real" vanilla.

Beth said...

It's probably too late to join in, but I'd like to smell like cinnamon. From spending all my time making cinnamon rolls!

~m said...

Yay! Happy birthday to a wonderful blogger!

May we smell like bean paste when we are old only if we WANT to, not because we haven't washed.

kinderny said...

I have always wanted to smell of lavendar water when I am old after I read about it in a book many, many years ago. A nice light, almost dusty, not overhwhelmingly floral scent because it is lavendar water, not some assaultive harsh lavendar smelling perfume or oil.
Oh, and can it happen in Maine?

stephanie (bad mom) said...

I know I'm late this game, but I want to play anyway (capriciousness here, too).

The bourbon smell is tempting (even though I hate the liquor), but I'm going to go with the lingering sexy Narciso Rodriguez perfume. Is that weird or gross? I want to leave the impression that although I'm wrinkly and possibly senile, I was once a hot hot mama. MILF, if you will (hehe).

Happy bday again, and it was lovely seeing you Wednesday!

Nancy said...

I'd love to smell like hot cocoa in the cold of winter; walking through the front door, all freezing and cood and smelling that sweet chocolately goodness in a mug!

MsPrufrock said...

First of all, happy birthday!

Holy comments. Yeesh. That said, I don't know anyone who doesn't like soap.

When I'm an old lady I have firm plans to ensure that I don't smell remotely like urine, Bengay, or like cobwebs and dust. I have concerns that this is something which happens automatically as soon as one hits 75.

I want to smell like patchouli when I'm old. I went through a serious patchouli phase in my teens and it's a scent that always takes me back to...less serious times.

QM said...

I think I'd like to smell like gardenias. Or maybe wisteria. Two smells I miss from home.

Optimist said...

Patchouli for me. Takes me back to my groovy adolescence every time.

Happy Birthday! (belated I fear...)

dharmamama said...

I can't believe I forgot to say Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday!!

Whoever wins the soap will be smellin' like those soaps when they're old - how many bars are there?

Stu said...

I am hoping to smell like grease and oil from woking on my cars with a hint of BBQ.

I'm sure Stephanie will buy a cologne that she likes me to wear.

Happy Birthday.

-Stu

valmoe said...

I'd like to smell like the night Jasmin I used to smell outside my window as a child in the summer. To remind myself of youthful things. Happy Birthday

Christina Shaver said...

I don't know. Teen Spirit?

Tishy said...

I just hope I remember to take a shower and don't stink horribly because I thought I bathed. I most probably will still smell like Jessica McClintock perfume because it is fresh, light and heavenly. Can't seem to find anything I like better.

Kimberly said...

i look forward to the rose old lady smell with a hint of chanel...just like my grandmother.

Amy the Mom said...

Boy, am I behind on my reading!

For the record, you won't catch me in purple dresses and red hats-there's something so obnoxious about that garb and the ladies who gather wearing it. It just smacks of a "look at me, I'm old and deserving of recognition" kind of desperation.

I will smell like hardy roses and soil, nutmeg and vanilla and garlic and basil.

A very happy belated birthday!

Tootsie Farklepants said...

I would like to smell like money.

Starshine said...

And a happy belated birthday to you, too!!! How fun that we share the same b-day!

i am very mary said...

cat lady. I want to smell like cat lady.

Mrs. G. said...

I'm at Starbucks catching up on all the BLOGS. I would like to smell like hot buttered rum and library books with a pinch of freshly mown grass. Happy 4 to E!

RachelH said...

Cinnamon and vanilla, I think...

InspiredByInk said...

Hi, I'm a new reader and probably too late for the soap mania... but I think when I am old and crusty (like good day old bread!) I'd like to smell like honeysuckle.. not the sickenly sweet stuff.

The smell like when you don't know there's honeysuckle around but get a whiff and then you are absent mindedly searching for that smell again and where it is coming from...

the old men will be 'drawn' to me like bees to honey baby! heheh

SOrry, I don't get out much being a SAHM of 2 also!

Bobbie *Ü*

Gardner said...

Patchouli for me. Takes me back to my groovy adolescence every time. Happy Birthday! (belated I fear...)