Friday, October 3, 2008

The Only Thing I'll Say About The (Cute! Folksy!) Elephant In The Room

If I know anything about America right now, it's that America just luuurves cute, folksy, homespun "wisdom" from its elected officials. And in light of this trend, I would like to respectfully nominate my daughter, Eleanora John Quincy Beanpaste, for public office.

thowing hands
Though she may not have "experience" in the traditional sense of the "word" (Ageism!), she has been running her own one-woman dictatorship, governing every waking moment of a small, blonde boy for nearly two years. But Eleanora John Quincy Beanpaste hasn't let all that power go to head; she's still just your average Joe Juicebox, putting her big girl panties on one leg at a time. She's plucky, and spunky, and you just never know what's going to come out of her mouth, darn it!

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Plucky!

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Relatable!

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Maverick!

A sampling of her stance on the issues...

On the economy:
"I want some McDonald's, but I not really want to earn it."

On foreign policy:

"Just walk away and don't hit. Just walk away and....eat some cake."

On the environment:
"I just can't stop thinking about fishes."

On Barack Obama:

"Barack Obama say ice changes into water." (?!?)

On gun control:
"Careful! Maaaaaan is in the forest!"

On religion:
"I love Jesus. Her has a lot of fairy dust."


Confidential to B.H.O.: Should anything fall through with that Biden character, call me. Save for four hours of morning preschool per week, her schedule is wide open. Though do be advised of one tiny caveat...

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The kid can't wink worth a damn.

42 comments:

Mike Golch said...

I'll cast my vote for her,she cannot mess things up any worse the the current buch that are in office.

Kelly said...

She totally has my vote!

Melanie said...

Mike:

Regarding the messing up of things: CLEARLY you have not seen this kid paint.

Amy said...

She's so darn cute and she's definitely got my vote!

apathy lounge said...

Honey? She's got MY vote!

lori said...

Any chance she has dual citizenship? We're about to have an election in Canada and could use some "folksy" wisdom as well. Winking purely optional.

Moriah @ Please Pass the Salt said...

Drew tried to wink at me today. He's about at the same level. But oh, did it make me laugh.

smalltownmom said...

She's got far better control of her bangs than that another candidate.

"Just walk away and don't hit. Just walk away and....eat some cake."

Priceless!!!!!!

Irene said...

We could use someone like her in the Netherlands. Any chance of her immigrating? Her family is welcome too.

justhay said...

Ack, stop the cuteness...can't....take....any....more...

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

She'd do less damage than SP.

PicaboMama said...

I say Vote Cute! I've got a budding cabinet member over at my house. Is there a Ministry of Musicals or an opening with the Junior Justice League?

Angie said...

She's got my vote! Too cute.

the cheap chick said...

I would rather have your daughter as PRESIDENT than anyone in Washington right now. Think big!

P.S. She is so cute, I just want to smoosh her to bits.

Lisa Milton said...

If she's at the ready, I feel better already.
:)

iloveupstate.com said...

Finally, a candidate I can believe in! Sign me up! Where are my crayons?

Rabidparadise said...

Yep. She's got my vote too! A better candidate has yet to be seen! Where do we send the campaign donations? (And would she prefer cash or straight up toys?)

Stacy (mama-om) said...

Nice outfit! She's got the whole power sweater thing going on.

(Oh, wait, is that sexist to talk about her clothes?)

Nora Bee said...

Melanie, I heart you so much.

Cheri @ Blog This Mom! said...

I've swooned at the thought of her on the ticket -- any ticket!!!

And? She'd kick major bum in any debate!

MamaBird said...

Vote for her? I just want to smooch her cheeks. And the "just walk away aaaaaaand...eat some cake" line? My new fave.

kate5kiwis said...

HA!
love it. you are fabulous.
so is Eleanora John Quincy Beanpaste.
i'd vote her... if i loved in the USofA...
mwah X

Sheri said...

Finally, a candidate I can totally relate to! Love her, so cute.

Becky said...

I'm in love, and I am so glad SOMEONE is thinking about the fishes!

Anonymous said...

i love cake.

and your blog.
thank you!

togetherforgood said...

Walk away and eat some cake is possibly the best advice anyone has ever given anyone. anywhere.

Laura @ the shorehouse. said...

Iloveupstate sent me over here to check out the candidate. And she SO gets my vote.

J. said...

And you're just your average hockey mom.

How do you get your kids to pose/sit still for so many pictures?!

I think the moms have it: Ellie for VP!

Heather D said...

I'm writing her in. Especially if she follows through with her cake diplomacy. ;)

i am very mary said...

HA HA HA! I love it all.

Natalie said...

very cute! and the winking...it will come. just keep practicing. or maybe poke her in one eye so she gets the hang of what it feels like. just kidding of course. she's cute enough to win without the winking.

Professor J said...

I can't stop thinking about fishes, either.

Marilyn said...

I'll bet she can at least pronounce "nuclear." And those cheeks! Let them be the First Cheeks.

Stu said...

Is she flashing a gang sign in that first picture? Eeeeeeast Siiiiide!

-Stu

ewe are here said...

Put her on the ballot! She's adorable, and absolutely worth voting for.
:-)

lapoflux said...

Awesome idea - I'd vote for her if I could.
Here's an idea - I'll get my 4 year old in the running for Prime Minister in Canada (that will save me having to decide who to vote for next week) and between them North America should be in good hands. At least there would be good sharing!

Kimmie said...

Cute, enjoyed that.

stephanie (bad mom) said...

My goodness that is most hilarious. And - is this scary, sad, or what? - I think I would far prefer her as VP than anyone else right now, wink or no wink.

bluemountainsmary said...

Heck - couldn't she look after Australia as well?

Marinka said...

She's got my vote. And my kids'.

The Girl Next Door said...

She has some awesome ideas and ideals. I vote for HER!

family-of-five said...

fantastic. FANTASTIC. seriously, I cried real laughing tears over the winking. I am so in love with you right now, and I'm totally writing in that plucky girl on my absentee ballot.