Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Talking Turkey, Sneaking Candy
J. asked: What are you doing for Thanksgiving this year? Are you hosting or do you guys go someplace (say, to friends or family)? If you are hosting, what do you plan on making and can we expect pictures?
We're spending Thanksgiving here in Boise with our extended family and eating dinner at my aunt's house. (Our little house is too wee for hosting the whole fam and I haven't really attained Alpha-Female-Gravy-Making Status yet. I consider this something of a blessing.) I only have to make an apple pie and, just for fun, my mother brought over the components for these:
Oreo turkeys for the table. My fellow Americans, you've made these at some point in your life, right? And my foreign friends, you're a little horrified, right? You're thinking, "Well, of course those nutter Americans put Oreos slathered in frosting and candy and made to look like little turkeys all over their Thanksgiving table, because you know what tastes great after two pounds of turkey, gravy, and ten side dishes? Frosted candy corn."
It's OK, foreign friends: we can take it.
We let Ellie help because, really, this is a kid-oriented tradition (though I can't recall when it became a family tradition) and we knew she would be dazzled by the sheer volume of junk food represented at her own table. Garbage food! All unwrapped and vulnerable-like!
Malted milk balls for the turkey bodies.
Peanut butter chips for the tiny turkey heads.
Chocolate-cream Oreos (though you can use regular; the turkeys will be in snow) for the tail and the base.
Canned chocolate frosting for slathering onto the tail.
(The canned frosting is handy for this purpose but for the love of turkey don't read the ingredients.)
Candy corn for tail feathers, the kind of tail feathers that can put you in a diabetic coma.
A little red gel icing for the waddle. This guy has a particularly showy waddle.
Turkeys! Do you know what a group of turkeys is called? A rafter of turkeys. Try not to be blinded by the science I'm laying down.
Ellie liked pressing the candy corn into the frosting, and she kept sifting through the candy corn while saying, "Oops! This one is BRO-KEN! I'll eat it. Oh, no! Another broken. Broken. Broken. Oooh, a BROKEN one." I'd tell her to stop, that she was going to make herself sick, that she just needed to make turkeys, not eat them, and that led to...
...super-covert candy corn eating. So subtle, so cool, that one.
And then there was the unsanitary finger licking. And, inevitably...
...regrettable licking in general. But whattaya gonna do? Putting a four-year-old in front of a candy smorgasbord is just asking for trouble.
And, to the family members who may or may not be "enjoying" these turkeys on Thursday: you can be thankful that she's vaccinated.