Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Talking Turkey, Sneaking Candy

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J. asked: What are you doing for Thanksgiving this year? Are you hosting or do you guys go someplace (say, to friends or family)? If you are hosting, what do you plan on making and can we expect pictures?

We're spending Thanksgiving here in Boise with our extended family and eating dinner at my aunt's house. (Our little house is too wee for hosting the whole fam and I haven't really attained Alpha-Female-Gravy-Making Status yet. I consider this something of a blessing.) I only have to make an apple pie and, just for fun, my mother brought over the components for these:

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Oreo turkeys for the table. My fellow Americans, you've made these at some point in your life, right? And my foreign friends, you're a little horrified, right? You're thinking, "Well, of course those nutter Americans put Oreos slathered in frosting and candy and made to look like little turkeys all over their Thanksgiving table, because you know what tastes great after two pounds of turkey, gravy, and ten side dishes? Frosted candy corn."

It's OK, foreign friends: we can take it.

turkey 101 with nan
We let Ellie help because, really, this is a kid-oriented tradition (though I can't recall when it became a family tradition) and we knew she would be dazzled by the sheer volume of junk food represented at her own table. Garbage food! All unwrapped and vulnerable-like!

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Malted milk balls for the turkey bodies.

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Peanut butter chips for the tiny turkey heads.

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Chocolate-cream Oreos (though you can use regular; the turkeys will be in snow) for the tail and the base.

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Canned chocolate frosting for slathering onto the tail.

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(The canned frosting is handy for this purpose but for the love of turkey don't read the ingredients.)

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Candy corn for tail feathers, the kind of tail feathers that can put you in a diabetic coma.

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A little red gel icing for the waddle. This guy has a particularly showy waddle.

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Turkeys! Do you know what a group of turkeys is called? A rafter of turkeys. Try not to be blinded by the science I'm laying down.

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Ellie liked pressing the candy corn into the frosting, and she kept sifting through the candy corn while saying, "Oops! This one is BRO-KEN! I'll eat it. Oh, no! Another broken. Broken. Broken. Oooh, a BROKEN one." I'd tell her to stop, that she was going to make herself sick, that she just needed to make turkeys, not eat them, and that led to...

i know you're eating candy corn under there OK
...super-covert candy corn eating. So subtle, so cool, that one.

licking
And then there was the unsanitary finger licking. And, inevitably...

and sometimes this happened
...regrettable licking in general. But whattaya gonna do? Putting a four-year-old in front of a candy smorgasbord is just asking for trouble.

And, to the family members who may or may not be "enjoying" these turkeys on Thursday: you can be thankful that she's vaccinated.

.

66 comments:

Kristen M. said...

Ooh! These look so evil and tasty. This is the sort of thing that doesn't work well for us because we don't live by family so we would have to eat all of these turkeys all by our lonesome. How many per person is that? ;)

The Boisterous Butterfly said...

What a fun job. I would have enjoyed doing that, even without a 4 year old to help me. Too bad we don't celebrate Thanksgiving in the Netherlands.

Blue Mountains Mary said...

Frighteningly I can kind of cope with the idea of those after eating tons of food.

I am disturbed by me.

Serial Mommy said...

it's 4:38 in the morning, i'm waiting for windows media to sync up my 11 year old's mp3 player, i have an extra child for the holiday (the same 11 year old's 1/2sister, they share a dad) and i'm LAUGHING at the turkeys, and now i want to MAKE the turkeys, it'll give the kids something interesting to do tomorrow while hubster and i scramble around (he took a vacation day to help out, how sweet right?) trying to get the house presentable for thanksgiving dinner because i, oddly enough, have obtained alpha female gravy making status...wish us luck!

i am very mary said...

I have to admit that those look revolting. But then? Ellie licking them? I might have to try one after that.

the cheap chick said...

You and your mad turning-junk-food-into-cool-looking-stuff skillz! You rock!

Renovation Therapy said...

cute on so many levels...

Stacy (mama-om) said...

Holy candy turkeys, Beanpaste!!!

dharmamama said...

How adorable! Love the pic of Ellie & Grandma's hands... unless those are YOUR hands, in which case - they don't look old at all!!!

I was at the beach with a friend once, and we were enjoying a romantic moment on a pier, watching the jellyfish just floating around. He said, "You know what a group of jellyfish is called?" "Umm... a school?" "A smucker." Romantic, quiet mood ruined by my laughing 'til I almost peed my pants.

Melanie said...

@dharmamama: Haaaaaaaa. Nice save! (They're my mom's hands, so you're good.)

Karen said...

Seriously adorable pictures of your daughter helping with the turkeys. In our house we say "the secret ingredient is love". Hee hee!

Denise S. said...

Your little girl and those sweet as sin turkeys just too stinkin cute.

Mrs. G. said...

Happy Thanksgiving to the Pastes. May your day be as sweet as those candy corn turkeys.

justjuli said...

Yum! I've never made these turkey things, but I think I will have to start this year.

Any excuse to eat all of the broken candy corn...
Happy Thanksgiving!

happygeek said...

Yes, the foreigners are laughing.
But it's with you, not at you.
Sorta.
Happy Thanksgiving.

connie said...

I am dropping everything and making a rafter of these immediately!

Lisa Milton said...

They are super cute; Zack made some with chocolate covered cherries at school, but I'll take a whopper any day of the week.

(Ellie is so darling.)

ox

Minnesota Matron said...

Oh my God. My children would take one look at this post and start making long term living arrangements at your house. Num, num!! We call our youngest Mr. Chocolate.

Laura @ the shorehouse. said...

I looovvveee the covert candy corn eating. We had a house guest that "covertly" stuffed M&Ms in her underpants so she'd have a super secret stash for the ride home in the dark, unmanned back seat of her car. Kids...I'm just not that clever in my old age.

carrie said...

Those are ridiculously adorable!

Hope you have a wonderful day!

J. said...

OMG, I LOVE the picture of Ellie licking the Oreo.

You are so creative! I had never heard of or seen Oreo turkeys before. If we were ever home for Turkey Day, I might try it.

THANK YOU for the shout outs and links, Melanie. I returned the favor on my blog, J-TWO-O. My way of giving thanks to you (and everyone who's helped and supported me/my blog) -- and hopefully driving more traffic to your wonderful blog.

Wishing you and the rest of your readers a very happy Thanksgiving...

J.

justhay said...

You read this foreign friend's mind. Oh boy.


And malted milk balls? Are they like a cheap version of Malteasers? Or don't ya have Malteasers? SURELY you must agree, that Malteaser is a far superior name than malted milk balls?

And also, while we are on the subject of Malteasers - or malted milk balls *coughstupidnamecough* (okay I'm on the subject), thanks a bunch!! I totally LOVE those things, and can't eat them anymore.
My family don't care, ruthless bastards, brought a whole tub last week. Though Rog did offer to suck all the choc off and leave me with the malt. *sigh*

That pointless ramble aside....you amaze me again!

Melanie said...

@ hay: Malteasers! I've seen that in a Nigella cookbook before. Actually, MISS THING, the brand name is "Whoppers." Malted milk balls is kind of the generic description. I'll have to send your children some tasty American Whoppers one of these days...

JessTrev said...

Sakes alive (just seems like something the Pastes might say) those are some un freaking believably cute pictures. And you know what? We are big supporters of the malt balls around here, partially hydrog-la-la-la ingredients be damned. Have a fantastic family day! My bro is all over the gravy boat in our fam and I agree, it's a tough blow to one's ego to have someone else perpetually slaving for days to create your every favorite family dish. ;)

Magpie said...

Never in my born days have I seen such a thing.

We used to make turkeys with toothpick and an apple and some yarn...

stephanie (bad mom) said...

My teeth hurt from here.

But the pics of Ellie sneaking candy and then licking the plate are solid gold.

Have fun :D

justhay said...

Oh yes, Nigella and I are very similar, that'd be why. :)

We can do a swap, send ya some Malteasers, which is a pretty crap swap really, considering they are the same thing. Hmmm.

Pineapple lumps? Like to see you work them into a recipe.

dkuroiwa said...

As an American living abroad, I must tell you that your pictures today are just plain mean. MEAN, I tell you....you're just teasing me in a way that really isn't very nice.
All those "components" to make those little turkey creatures...yeah...hmmm...let's see...Oreos!! I can get them...but not the Chocolate cream ones! DoubleCrappityDamn!
I may just print out the pictures and look at them periodically throughout the rest of the evening and whenever I need a visual sugar buzz!!!
Happy Happy Turkey Day to you and your family!!!

bipolarlawyercook said...

My God, but I love you. And those turkeys. But you first.

g said...

Oh, these look positively ....hysterically funny!! I love 'em. I wish I'd known how to make these when my son was a kid!

As for the ingredients - whoo! disgusting but delicious.

Nikk said...

Being Canadian I have never seen such a thing! I am in awe of the goodness that is on display! I can't wait to make them for Canadian Thanksgiving next year!

sozzled said...

omg, those pictures are fantastic! i would totally lick the oreos, too. anyway if you can make something that putzy you can ABSOLUTELY make gravy. I'm not sure why people fear the gravy, but once you master it you can stand at the stove sipping a beverage, while people scurry around you WORKING and say "I'm working on the gravy" and they will leave you alone.

~m said...

I have never seen these! I am pretty sure they will make their appearance next year. Yum! (because I can give any 4 year old a run for their money in sweetness tolerance)

T in Bath said...

Wow. Laughed 'til I cried.
Vaccinated. phew.
Epidemic averted.
Fantastic.
This is an absolute classic.
You are the best!
Made my week!

Lisa said...

I just reread this post and laughed till I cried. My 9-yr old daughter came over to look at the pic and wanted to know what was so funny...

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