Friday, January 9, 2009
Already? January? January. Right.
For those of you who care, I'm sorry things have been so quiet around here. I've been in a little bit of a funk (a recession flu, if you will) and haven't wanted to talk about it, particularly during the most festive of seasons. But, in order to move on and celebrate happier things, it is time to unblock:
My husband, the current sole breadwinner, works in architecture and, given the state of the building industry, he is mostly out of a job. We learned at the beginning of December that the firm was rapidly running out of work with nothing else in the pipeline. I'll be honest: not the best of holiday news.
I've been back and forth with it, constantly cycling between a silent panic or a vague sense of despair or a chin-up confidence about the whole thing. I end up panicky more than I care to admit.
Truthfully, I have never been entirely at ease living in a single-income household, what with all the eggs in the one basket and the scary way this world has with kicking baskets and smashing eggs. But that single-income did keep our living honest: our house is small, we have no car payments, we have no consumer debt. We already live modestly. So, like millions of other Americans, we are steeling ourselves for the long run, ready to ride this out and hope for better times. We have each other, the four of us, and we all love one another so much that it nearly breaks me in two with gratitude and joy.
To better cope, I have employed the following measures:
1. I stopped reading my beloved news. As a news junkie this is a huge step, but every time I read or listen to the news I end up utterly hopeless. No news for the time being.
2. I started looking for work in earnest, and I truly love working, so that's fine. I am hoping for some freelance stuff, but would not be adverse to anything short of Tokyo Massage Parlor work. (Though still in progress, my freelance site is here.)
3. I only allow myself one full-blown panic attack per week. (Or two attacks if I happened to accidentally catch some Morning Edition. Three attacks max.)
4. I focus on all the things we do have and the fact that unemployment is something that can be (eventually) fixed and there are so many things that can never be fixed or changed or taken back. In the scope of Bad Things, I believe it to be one of the tamest. Far tamer than legions of zombies, for instance.
5. I avoided writing on my blog, because it was frivolous and too personal and would take away from all my valuable fretting time.
Needless to say, number five isn't really working out. I need to write, need to get this off my chest and tip my full hand of cards. Things suck right now, but I know they will be better, and surely writing and laughing and creating something will help things along the road to better. This blog has brought me great joy and satisfaction in the past and besides, there is so much to say about Christmas and the church play and putz houses and our giant, celebratory The Recession Can Bite Me tree. Priorities!
So: I'm back and back in earnest and before you know it, you'll be completely sick of me again. Thanks for the well wishes.