Sunday, June 21, 2009

Because We Didn't Get Him That "World's Best Dad" Mug. AGAIN.

trio
I have this husband, and my kids have this father, and the three of us would like to take this holiday weekend to talk about him a little. Forgive our sentimentality: he makes us weepy.

b and j
Nearly every Saturday morning, he gets up with the kids and makes waffles or pancakes from scratch and scrambled eggs and warm blueberry syrup. He chats with them and does the dishes and then they watch old cartoons, and all the while I sleep for an extra hour or two. When I wake up, he's usually made French-press coffee, just the way I like it with a dash of half-and-half. He knows that this little ritual--some extra sleep, a break, a bit of time away from caring for the kids so I can be a better mother all week--means the world to me, but he never rubs it in.

sweaty boys
Every day after work, he takes the children into the basement for an hour or two while I make dinner. He devises bizarre games--Bear Fight, Pirate Hunt, This Man Has A Binky, Toothbrush Race--and he plays the games again and again, matching their enthusiasm, making them scream. He puts on records and they do interpretive dances to classical music, robot dances to the Beastie Boys. They wrastle. As I chop onions upstairs, I listen to squeals and shouts and roars and the music throbs through the old hardwood floor, and I am sure that everything is right with the world. When they all come up to eat, they are pink and damp and exhausted, just like children (and husbands) should be before dinner.

ellie and frog
On weekends, he is with them in the yard, imparting a love and appreciation for the things that fly and crawl and slither. Together, they wonder at the marking on a fat brown moth, or exclaim over the length of a slick nightcrawler, or cradle a tiny speckled frog in their palms. He teaches them to be gentle, gentle, GENTLE, and take care of things that are smaller, while their squeamish, nervous mother stands on the other side of a screen and says Oh! Isn't that nice! He is teaching them courage and compassion and stewardship, and doing a better job of it than I ever could.

IMG_9721
He bathes them. He brushes teeth and combs hair. He tells bedtime stories, with a dozen voices and hands and theatrics. He tucks in. He tucks back in. He soothes them in the night when monsters come to call. He is their protector, their rock, their sure bet. He loves them ferociously, expressively, joyfully. He cares for them, and can provide their care, and he makes it look easy. He can Do It All.

b and e
He is, in short, A Good Egg. A Great Egg. A Tasty Organic, Free-Range Egg With Omega-3 On Sale With A Coupon.

I've heard people talk about growing apart after having children, or feeling jealous for the attention of their spouse, frustrated with less wife or husband to go around. But, in my experience, our children are exactly the thing that entwined us forever, that mixed us and cemented this union. These children were born to us, and then we were born unto each other, new and changed and whole for the first time. We are not perfect, far from it, but together have forged a little bit of perfection in a broken world.

In short: I have never loved him better than when he became a father, and I have never known a better father.

Happy Father's Day, Byron. We love you.*

shoulders

*(But still hate beards. And camping. And kippered snacks, GAWD, the kippered snacks.)

39 comments:

togetherforgood said...

What a lovely tribute to your husband. :)

Emily said...

I can confirm that he really is THAT good.

Mike Golch said...

great post,Happy Father's day to you Sir!

Chris said...

Great post, Melanie BeanPaste!

Sounds like you have a fine fella over there. You honored him. :-)

Kelly said...

;)

Lori said...

wow, what a post. what a tribute. well done, both on the post and on the family.

Kelly said...

Lovely post. Mr. BeanPaste sounds awesome. :)

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

What a beautiful tribute.

I know exactly what you mean about the children cementing your relationship. When my husband went back to to work after 2 weeks home when our oldest son was born, I was so sad he had to leave us all day. A friend of mine said she was so relieved when her husband went to work because she didn't have to share the baby anymore. I was baffled.

ElizSeg said...

Love this.

Nora said...

I like.

J. said...

Yeah, yeah, lovely tribute. Byron's the best dad ever. Blah blah blah. But when was the last time he flew you to New York (or Seattle) in his private plane for dinner and a show? Oh wait... I think I just spoiled your birthday surprise. Sorry Melanie! ; )

J. said...

P.S. LOVE the new banner. Gorgeous. And am with you re beards (OK on other spouses, too scratchy on mine), camping (fun in theory, but oh the bugs and where's the flush toilet?), and kippered snacks (kippered snacks?!).

Mary said...

Oh boy he is a keeper for sure!

A wonderful tribute...

Monica said...

My husband makes pancakes every Saturday morning too. Glad you have such a good husband!

Life As I Know It said...

what a lovely post.

My Crazy Beautiful Life said...

That made me weepy probably because I've seen you both in action as parents and it's all true. . .

Stacy (mama-om) said...

Mr. BeanPaste sounds like a dreamboat! (albeit one full of kippered snacks)...

Happy Day!

The Mama - aka Heather said...

That was lovely!

Cheri @ Blog This Mom! said...

And he's hawt. Totally.

Just saying.

XO

heidi said...

wonderful post. Please post the rules for "This Man Has a Binky." We wanna play.

dkuroiwa said...

he sounds like the kind of dad we all need!! i love a man who will play with his kids...really play!
I hope that Father's Day was absolutely wonderful at the BeanPasteAbode.

Professor J said...

You've got me all misty.

the cheap chick said...

And? He is hot - which a husband should be, if possible. Also? Really freaking funny.
Now I'M all weepy, too!

a Tonggu Momma said...

This is my favorite Father's Day post this year. But he's not my favorite father and husband (even though he sounds truly amazing). Because that would be kinda weird.

knitalot3 said...

Better keep an eye on him, he sounds like a real "keeper".

Jayle said...

Wow - I'm all misty over such a nice tribute! As a marriage/family therapist I can only wish that more kids and wives out there had fathers and husbands like yours. What a better world we'd all be in.

Thanks for sharing!

Lisa Wheeler Milton said...

I rarely have any use for eggs, of any sort, but your recipe for a happy family is lovely.

Lovely lovely lovely.

stephanie (bad mom) said...

Dude, that is phenomenally beautiful. I'd say he's all the eggy goodness with a double coupon.

And you're selfishly keeping him in Idaho when you could move out here and let us all revel in the coolness that is your man.

Hmph.

Renovation Therapy said...

This is so awesome. I forgive him for the paneling.

kelly said...

Great post, great dad.

And now we know that if Byron ever found himself the victim of a homicide in his own home (you know, because he meets many of the criteria -- male, wears novelty boxer shorts, wood paneling...fortunately for him you don't seem to have shag carpeting or I would start to worry for his well-being)... we can take you off the list of persons of interest. Because then who would play "This Man Has a Binky" with the kids?

Misguided Mommy said...

OMG THE FROG. I WANT THE FROG. CAN YOU MAIL HIM TO ME. HE IS SOOOOOOOO CUTE.

I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW I LIKED FROGS UNTIL I SAW THAT LITTLE GUY...GIRL...DO FROG'S HAVE SEXES OR ARE THEY BOTH?

HMM OFF TO GOOGLE!

kimmomof8 said...

Perfect...and I want a dad like that now :)

Hapi said...

hello... hapi blogging... have a nice day! just visiting here....

JessTrev said...

AWWWWW. You had me at free range and had to go all coupon-y on me. A-dorable Paste family goodness. xo

apathy lounge said...

It's almost as if you're talking about my husband. Wow! There are two of them walking the planet!! How awesome...and how sad for others who don't have a dad/husband like this.

Lyn said...

I came across your wonderful blog this morning, read your post "Because We Didn't Get Him That "World's Best Dad" Mug. AGAIN." Just wanted to say, what a magnificent man you have & such adorable kids. I wish you all the happiness in the world, Lyn :)

skatey katie said...

jeez.
you say it so eloquently.
love it X

Anonymous said...

And this man is not a fantasy??? And did you post it to make the rest of us jealous????
Well i never, I think we need to replicate his gene pool, maybe all our future son-in-laws could come from your family!! I still hold out hope for my three daughters!
All the same, despite my comments, I am so happy to hear that this type of man can be a reality! Good for you, enjoy those sleep-ins!

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