Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Crouton Lung: The Update and Downgrade

After his grave, very hurty medical condition was shared with the Internet, my manly spouse modified his official position on Crouton Lung. To quote: "I didn't mean the WHOLE crouton. They were really big croutons. It was like a piece. A SHARD."

So, there you have it: he is suffering from Crouton Shard Lung, okay? I'll be adding a PayPal button in the coming days so that we may accept donations for his medical treatment, which includes, at your kind recommendation, costly bronchoalveolar lavages of warm, clarified butter and Newman's Own Salad Dressings. Tasty.


Karen Jensen said...

I was cleaning up after Thanksgiving dinner and singing "Oklahoma" at the top of my lungs with some of our guests (oh the frivolity that is a dinner at my house). Anyway, I (for some odd reason) stuck a piece of dressing in my mouth and then inhaled to hit the last big note.

As I choked, nearly to death I might add, I thought of your husband and his crouton lung, which made me laugh and and then choke even more. The guests were concerned.

Mrs. G. said...

I'm linking the "crouton story" on Friday because it's my favorite of the month...and I'm willing to take the risk of having other people witness my stupidity...that's just the kind of woman I am. And if my daughter happens to be reading this comment, I don't want to hear ANOTHER word about this.

Lisa Wheeler Milton said...

Now, is that related to Popcorn lung? Sounds very scary.

(I would have lost it at the mention of shard...)

Nora said...

Well, it's nice to clarify, but that hardly makes it less severe, don't you think? I hope the butter infusions go smoothly. And maybe he should seek a support group for proud survivors of CLD (crouton lung disease).


Anonymous said...

this is too funny... Chuck E. Cheese is a bad, bad place.. I think it would make a wonderful episode on House... is it lupus?... no it is the rare and dreaded crouton in the lung think of it it would take House the entire hour to figure it out ... I would love to see it.. be careful out there the world is a very dangerous place

Family Adventure said...

I'm glad his condition has been downgraded somewhat - I was a little worried.


Melanie said...

Prof. J: I have to tell you: I choked really badly on some turkey at Thanksgiving. Karmic? Since we mocked him? I hope not.

Miss G: OK, we gotta leave your mom alone. Poor thing.

Lisa: Oh, I lost it a long time ago.

Nora: Please. I'm the one who needs a support group.

Karen: Ha! I can see just see him limping around, crabbing at everyone, slinging x-rays. "Why didn't anyone TELL me he was having salad?"

Heidi: You and me both. said...


lapoflux said...

I know it is way after the fact, but my husband and I are reading this post (and the first one) and HOWLING with laughter. You are one FUNNY girl!